Comparison, Insecurity & Ego…

COMPARISON

Today is one of those days that I woke with a billion thoughts on my mind and most of it consists of ways to accomplish all these goals that I sometimes feel are haunting me. Being 24 year old creative thinker is a gift and a curse at times. I fell back into a trap and world wind cycle of constant comparison to my peers, checking stats and comments and just overall draining myself of my unique light. I’ll be honest this is something I’ve dealt with for years… From the beginning of my social media experience I’ve been having moments of “binge scrolling” & getting lost in the rabbit hole of comparison. It’s something so comforting about seeing people your age on the same level of success and similar struggles.

The second I got a glimpse of someone who seemingly has it all put together I found myself rolling my eyes, sucking my teeth and being annoyed by their success. I’d find myself thinking, “I could do that better, I’ve already did that….etc.” I know that the envious emotions I’m feeling are just insecurity and anxiety. Constantly wondering when will my time come. I haven’t felt this way in a while, but today I feel like that 15 year old girl obsessing over some random girl on MySpace because we’re the same age with similar hair and bodies… But somehow her life seems more “amazing” than mine.

Although it was hard for me to press publish on this post, I did it anyway because I want you all to know that we all have off days, insecure moments and times where we just don’t like the way we’re acting or thinking. Negative self talk is real and it really impacts your life. Although for a few hours I really got caught up in my mind and lost track of me. Now that I’ve experienced it, thought about and decided what needs to change I’m letting it go. We all have insecure moments no matter how “confident” our ego tells us we are. The key to getting through this is prayer and patience. I’m growing and this is just a part of the process.

Do you ever struggle with comparison? 

Sincerely,

Fatima

Wellness// 4 Tips to Help You Get Unstuck

Wellness// 4 Tips to Help You Get Unstuck

Are you feeling the funk? We’ve all been there! Some days you just wake up tired, drained and feeling defeated before you even roll out of bed.

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For weeks, maybe months even… my mental and physical body wasn’t aligned . I didn’t have an inch of energy, I was moody all the time and doing things that I normally enjoyed felt like a obligation rather than a passion. Thank the heavens that is no longer how I am feeling!

Out of nowhere a few weeks ago I noticed a change.  A change in my attitude and my mood. I woke up feeling refreshed , energized and excited to start the day. So how did that change happen?

Keep reading to find out how and maybe these tips may help you get your “mojo” back.

1. Acknowledge the feeling: openly express your feelings to yourself and a close friend that you trust. Getting out those emotions will certainly help clear some of the clutter and denial you may be in. Being in a bad mood or inspirational funk is nothing to be embarrassed about. Everyone and I mean everyone has their moments of sadness, loneliness and confusion. It’s okay to feel that way every once in a while. However, I am not a doctor. So, If you have been feeling this way longer than usual please seek professional help.

2. Acceptance: learn to be kind to yourself. Tell yourself It’s okay to feel moody or uninspired every once in a while. This is a lesson that took some time for myself. I would bottle in my thoughts instead of just completely accepting the feelings. As cliche as it sounds that really is the first step to getting through it.

3. Be positive: as obvious as this may sound it’s actually one of the hardest parts. I’m not going to tell you to speak positive affirmations all day long and ta-dah you’ll feel better. Speaking from experience that doesn’t work for everyone. I learned a way that works better for me and that is being positive about the future rather than trying to change my mood instantly.

For example, instead of saying “I’m having a great day.” (Which can honestly feel like a big fat lie if you aren’t)

I’ll say something like, “I’m not feeling my best right now, but I’m looking forward to feeling better in the near future”. This way I don’t feel like I’m lying to myself, but some how I’m still being optimistic.

4. Set small attainable goals:
Part of my “funk” certainly had to do with over planning. I was stressing myself out with deadlines, numerical goals and other pointless stats. Realizing that success is not a race it is simply a journey that everyone will experience differently. Now instead of daily to do list and over analyzing I simply set a few goals I’d like to accomplish by the end of the work week.

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5. Meditate: Something so simple, yet so effective. For more on that topic check out this post https://sewingstardom.com/2014/04/09/wellnessdont-avoid-stress-deal-with-it/

I hope this was helpful. I can honestly say this week is the first one in while that I feel like “myself” (whatever or whoever that is). I’m so grateful though, and I can’t wait to share some of this positive energy through my upcoming posts and videos. Check out my latest videos here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-l58iUz-Oo

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So, what do you ladies(or gents) do when you’re feeling stuck in a rut? Comment below, I’d love to hear from you!

Wellness// Letting Go Of Expectations

Wellness// Letting Go Of Expectations

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be” -Lao Tzu”

Happy Saturday everyone! I hope you all are doing well, I’m just getting over a nasty cold, just in time for the weekend…Thank God. As of lately, I’ve been meditating more. If you’ve meditated before you know that initially it starts as a simple act of “clearing your mind”, but after a few sessions you start to ask yourself deep questions.  You start to realize a lot about your self or this “idea” of self.  One of the main things I’ve realized is that I am an over thinker. I talked about this in a vlog on my Youtube Channel before.  Each day I am making a conscious decision to let go of expectations and just live in the moment. Learning to accept the present moment for what it is. This has to be one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done.

“We create this notion of who are this idea inside our minds. We tell ourselves things like “I’m shy, I’m happy, I’m this I’m that. But in reality we aren’t anything just human beings constantly evolving… Forever changing. We need to just let go of expectations of self and the world. “

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For as long as I could remember I’ve been a planner, to-do list type of gal. Although preparation is extremely important. My problem is I usually get too caught up on the “plan” I forget to just enjoy the “thing” I’m planning. My goal for today and everyday moving forward is to be be present, let go of expectations and breathe. The weather is supposed to be lovely today, so I’m thinking about hitting the city for a random day of… whatever. I will just go with the flow of the universe.

Well, that’s it for now. Since my cold has finally started clearing up & I no longer sound like a grown man(my voice sounds manly when I get sick for some reason, lucky me right?)…expect a lot of new videos on my YouTube Channel.

Have a great weekend everyone!XOXO

“Every day set the simple goal of trying to be more awake and less distracted.”

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Wellness//Living Your Passion Part 1: Finding Your Purpose

The other day I posted this photo on IG and asked the question,” what’s your purpose?” The response I received was pretty interesting. Very few people commented. However, one person who did asked,“How do I find it?”.

20140227-022039.jpgFirst, let me start by saying I’m by no means an expert in this department. If you’ve been following SewingStardom for a while you probably know that, “I don’t have the answers” #kanyevoice if you haven’t been following, let me warn you, I don’t know it all. I’m still trying to figure it out as well. However, I do have a few ideas and helpful tips that I would like to share that have helped me grow into the place that I’m at right now. I’ve discovered my purpose, but I’m still trying to figure out how to make it a part of my regular lifestyle. Keep reading below to see learn a few of my tips for finding your purpose.

 

1. It doesn’t have to be a craft : I think most people assume that our purpose has to be a skill or craft, like dancing, acting, singing or creating art. Let’s be honest though, not everyone has a skill or craft. If so, the entire planet would be walking around doing the same things. Sometimes it can be a calling. For example, I believe that my purpose is to inspire others. That’s the whole point of all of this, the blog, the youtube channel, etc. I love the feeling I get when I help someone with a hair issue, fitness tips or putting together an outfit. Although, my actual craft may be considered being a “stylist” I know that my purpose is more than dressing people. Don’t limit yourself to fit into a box or label.

2. Ask your self,” what’s one thing I can do every single day even if I don’t get paid for it?” I knew that my purpose was to inspire others once I noticed that I did it every where I went. I could be at a club, but if the opportunity presented itself I would find myself chatting with women about natural hair or fashion. From the moment I wake up from the time I go to bed I am constantly trying to inspire others to look better & feel better. I also love the feeling that I get through doing this. You will know when you’ve found your purpose because you will feel a natural high off life. When you are smiling at just the mere thought of doing what you love that’s how you’ll know it’s more than a hobby it’s a passion!

“I have dreams of moving to Cali, opening my own business that will allow me to inspire women everywhere and traveling the world. I truly believe all these are possible. It’s just a matter of how bad I want it I may fail, but that won’t stop me from trying!”

3. Ask the opinions of people you know and people you don’t know. I know many of us like to have the mentality like, ” I don’t care what other think about me”. Sometimes we should , not ever critic is a hater. There’s some truth to the perception you give off. Asking your friends and family, “what could you see me doing or what do I get the most excited about? ” could be very helpful in figuring all this out.

4. Go with the flow: if you have seven different hobbies that you love doing… Do them all. Don’t say, I can’t be a photographer because I’m already a dancer. Or I can’t be a writer and a hair stylist. Yes you can! People just like you are doing it. Believe in yourself and don’t put limits on your abilities. If god, put that’s desire in your heart, it’s there for a reason, he wouldn’t have put that desire in your heart with out giving you a way to fulfill it! … Sometimes your purpose may be something you never imagined you’d be doing. It may terrify you to death, but for some reason you have a gut feeling telling you to do it anyway. So, just do it! It may not be perfect the very first time you try, but you will get better just keep going!20140227-022256.jpg

5. “Ask GOD for help…”. If you aren’t sure what your calling is…that’s okay. Not everyone will know right away, but at times when I feel confused I always go to GOD. As of lately, my faith has been growing more and more. I can honestly say that all the confidence I have in living my purpose comes through him. If you aren’t a believer of GOD that’s fine. However, sometimes it helps to put your burdens and worries into the hands of the universe rather than trying to deal with it alone 🙂 . I hope I don’t sound like I’m preaching to you guys, but my faith is growing & I can’t help but share it!

Have you found your purpose? Are you still looking? Please share your tips or stories below, I’d love to hear from you.

Stay tuned for the next post, “Cultivating & Walking in Your Purpose”!

With Love xoxo,
Fatima 🙂

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Inspiration// Home Decor Edition

I remember about two years ago…I was 20 years old, when my mom and dad finally split. They were never married, but they we together for my entire life so the whole ordeal was quite traumatizing. With my sister being two years older than me and more financially secure she had already made plans to move out. My brother who’s five years older than me had been living alone for years. Then there was me…. the lost 20 something year old little girl trying to figure out where I would be living, working etc.. I couldn’t stay with my mom because she decided to move back to her hometown in North Carolina and living with my dad wasn’t really an option.

So, I moved in with my big sister. I slept on her couch for about a year. Once I found out my niece was on the way I knew I ‘d have to leave soon. My sister’s one bedroom apartment wasn’t really enough space for all of us. To make a very long story short I spent almost two years sleeping on couches, living room floors and in guest bedrooms. It was not fun, at times it was very stressful…but by keeping faith and working hard I finally landed a job that would provide the financial security I was longing for.

This past November, I finally moved into my very first apartment! Moving into my own place was on on my to do list for about 2 years before it actually happened. It has to be one of the scariest and the most amazing things that has ever happened to me. Although this post wasn’t really supposed to be about my personal life drama lol, I felt the urge to share that story, maybe it can help someone else. I used to be embarrassed about it, but not anymore. I’m living proof that if you are going through a rough time, it’s only temporary!

It’s been a hell of a journey but, I’m so grateful that it has finally happened. Going through all of that makes it so much more special today. 

Now time for the fun part decorating! I’ve been kind of obsessed with Pinterest as of lately. I have so many cool ideas for how I plan to decorate my new space. The inspiration is a Modern-Vintage style. I’m truly obsessed with cream, white, ivory, egg shell and bright pops of color. Here’s some of my favorite inspiration pics for more check out my pinterest.

I’m completely obsessed with this flamingo wall paper! Does anyone know where I can find it?

Another one of my obsessions include anything that is Egyptian & Indian inspired!  Continue reading “Inspiration// Home Decor Edition”

Wellness// Personal Fitness Journey

photo: Taye  Johnson(Soul Cycle Instructor)

In January of 2012, I started my fitness journey. I remember signing up for the local gym and become completely obsessed with working out. At that time in my life I was extremely dedicated fitness and eating healthy. I was seeing changes, feel amazing and most importantly I was healthy. I was doing an amazing job for about a year and then I started getting lazy. In 2013, I noticed that my body was changing. I didn’t workout as much and I started to embrace the little bit of curves I had accumulated over the year. By the end of 2013 I was a pant size bigger and my tummy had lost just about all it’s definition. Looking at myself in the mirror I remember feeling satisfied with my new slightly curvy body, but disappointed in my lack of motivation. I’d ask my self,” Where had my drive and passion gone?”. After some thinking, I’ve decided that I need to get back on track before it’s too late. I’ve gotten way too comfortable with “gaining a little weight”. If I keep up this routine, I’ll be over weight before I know it. It’s so easy to slack off, but I refuse to be another statistic living with diseases like obesity, diabetes and hypertension.pin52dc66d4415fb

I’ve never really been one to hop on a scale to measure my weight gain. I usually use pictures & I pay attention to the way my clothes fit. For example, in 2012 I was at my most fit point and now in 2014 I’m at my least physically fit point. I naturally gain weight in my midsection and that’s where the main change is. Surprising my actually weight has remained about the same over the past two years. IMG_2700

Along with my lack of ambition to work out, I’ve also stopped eating healthy. I went from making smoothies everyday & cooking healthy dinners to order takeout & drinking soda. I don’t do it often, but I do it a lot more than I should. The excess carbs, fats & sugars are catching up to me. Eating healthy and working out go hand in hand. Since I hadn’t been doing any type of exercise I started eating however I wanted. I notice that when I workout every single day I am very careful about what I eat. I remember feeling guilty if I had a bad meal, almost as if I were cheating myself.

What are my fitness goals?

1. Slim down & tighten up// I’m not looking to lose a large amount of weight, but I would like to drop a few inches from my waistline and gain even more definition in my stomach than I had before. I know that if I push myself I will see results like never before.

2. Regain Passion and Strength// One thing I used to love when I was more committed was my determination. I was so dedicated to working out I would literally bring my gym clothes with me to work and go straight to the gym after working 8 hrs. I worked out on weekends too. I was extremely self motivated and I challenged myself to do more with each workout.

How do I plan to get back on track?

1.Workout//At least once per day spend between 30 -60mins doing cardio & 30 mins strength training. Since my body type is “apple shaped” I naturally gain weight in my midsection first.

Therefore, I have to do A LOT of cardio to stay in shape. Since I no longer have access to a treadmill machine or things of that nature I have to get creative in order to get in 60mins of intense cardio. This is probably one of my favorite workout videos by the lovely Keaira Lashae. If you aren’t already following her please do, she’s awesome.

Along with this I plan to do

-Zumba: 3x per week. One of my favorite Zumba workouts would have to be this video by Ariella. I do this at least 3 times, when I can’t make it to my zumba class.


-Circuit Training: doing a mixture of intense cardio exercises for a short period of time in intervals.(for example: mountain climbers, skaters, burpees and jumping jacks)

-Strength Training: Ab exercises and lowering body muscle building exercises

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I used to think I could only get a good cardio workout at the gym, now I know that I can. I just have to be willing to push myself.

2. Drink more water: I already drink a pretty decent amount of water. I’ve set a goal for myself to start drinking a 2 liters to 1 gallon per day.

3. Eat more healthy: This is probably the most difficult part for me. I love food especially snacks and chocolate. However, in order to see results I have to start eating better and cutting out a lot of fats and sugars.DSCN6914

4. Stay motivated: I’ve been using websites like tumblr and pinterest to create inspiration boards. I have apps on my phone and plenty of Youtube Videos that I use to stay motivated.

I can’t lie this will certainly be a challenge for me! However, I’m determined to tighten & tone up my body. Being fit is truly a lifestyle choice!

So ladies & gents what are some of your fitness goals for 2014? What are some of the challenges you are facing when it comes to working out and staying healthy? Let us know below or

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