Comparison, Insecurity & Ego…

COMPARISON

Today is one of those days that I woke with a billion thoughts on my mind and most of it consists of ways to accomplish all these goals that I sometimes feel are haunting me. Being 24 year old creative thinker is a gift and a curse at times. I fell back into a trap and world wind cycle of constant comparison to my peers, checking stats and comments and just overall draining myself of my unique light. I’ll be honest this is something I’ve dealt with for years… From the beginning of my social media experience I’ve been having moments of “binge scrolling” & getting lost in the rabbit hole of comparison. It’s something so comforting about seeing people your age on the same level of success and similar struggles.

The second I got a glimpse of someone who seemingly has it all put together I found myself rolling my eyes, sucking my teeth and being annoyed by their success. I’d find myself thinking, “I could do that better, I’ve already did that….etc.” I know that the envious emotions I’m feeling are just insecurity and anxiety. Constantly wondering when will my time come. I haven’t felt this way in a while, but today I feel like that 15 year old girl obsessing over some random girl on MySpace because we’re the same age with similar hair and bodies… But somehow her life seems more “amazing” than mine.

Although it was hard for me to press publish on this post, I did it anyway because I want you all to know that we all have off days, insecure moments and times where we just don’t like the way we’re acting or thinking. Negative self talk is real and it really impacts your life. Although for a few hours I really got caught up in my mind and lost track of me. Now that I’ve experienced it, thought about and decided what needs to change I’m letting it go. We all have insecure moments no matter how “confident” our ego tells us we are. The key to getting through this is prayer and patience. I’m growing and this is just a part of the process.

Do you ever struggle with comparison? 

Sincerely,

Fatima

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9 thoughts on “Comparison, Insecurity & Ego…

  1. Blame it on the full moon. Sammie from Beautycrush just did a video stating the same thing. I think we are our worst critical enemy. We see how hard we work at what everyone else is doing and we want the same results. Just remember, it’s a popularity contest not a show of true talent. Also, some of us just won’t have a million subscribers in a year or at all. We are trying to win favor across the globe and the media tells the masses what is acceptable, what is beautiful, what is talent. Just keep doing you and your audience will come. Smile!

    1. Thank you! I have a hard time embracing what I currently have at times. I literally had 300 subbies about two years ago and it’s grown so much since then. I’m grateful for it and just embracing the journey some days are just easier than others.

  2. as a muture woman I can tell you that these episodes of feeling you are “behind on life” surface every no and then through out our life span. In my opinion allow these feelings to go through its routine, recognize its just for a moment. At the end of this moment do a quick self evaluation. Once you realize you’re doing your best, reassure yourself. And, if necessary talk to someone. Lastly, realize that the other persons life might not be as great as it seems not, so you know what they did to get there. They may have done some things like take short cuts, cheat, step on, etc. to get where they are. Your life, your journey, your story, your success is based on your unique abilities so your outcome will be different. Wow this was long lol sorry

  3. I am going through these emotions right now, and as I read what you wrote it feels like you have taken everything I was feeling the last few weeks and posted it. Like one of the commenters posted, I definitely feel “behind on life”. Growing up I had always had expectations on what I would have accomplished by now and with 30 just a year away I can honestly say I haven’t gotten much done on that list, but I had never considered the struggle or other obstacles I would have to overcome to get to where I am now. I think at this point all we can do is focus on getting where we need to go and realize that comparison is just another obstacle in our way. That is a lesson I hope to learn sooner than later.

  4. I’m detoxing from social media for a while because of this… especially instagram (but not YouTube lol) Being away from social media helps me focus on my myself and my progess. Writing and reading my previous journal entries show me how far I’ve come in my journey. I’m glad you took the time to write about it. Everyone goes through this especially in this day and age.

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